Safety Notice

If you are a survivor, please be careful in reading the information compiled here. It is impossible to give information on ritual abuse, and about people's opinions about ritual abuse, in a way that is not upsetting and/or triggering. Only you know how much is wise to read, and how much information you can absorb at one time.


The Need

I am hell bent on a whim of self destruction,
 everyday my screams get louder,
  everyday less people hear.
The pressure is building inside,
 and I'm about to explode
  the wear on my control
   is gaining power.
My will is getting weaker.
I wish it could be all better,
 then maybe I wouldn't feel like I do,
  maybe I wouldn't feel the need
   to let my pain and rage lead.
To set free all that's inside,
 to let depression be my guide.
To have my heart freeze,
 and refuse to beat,
  and be my ultimate demise.
Or release this pulsing rush,
 and terrible want that I've got.
All of it, locked deep down,
 I want to be my own,
  so i give in.
As I feel the release,
 I am finally free,
  the tension leaves,
   and I am once again
    left in the absence of my pain.
With only guilt slowly creeping in
 all the scars next to the fresh cut,
  all the previous screw-ups,
   the regrets, the stupid decisions.
All indelibly in my skin,
 until the need i supress
  takes over again.

by Lurking in the Shadows

Life: Heaven or Hell?

Is this life I am sentenced to
 a Heaven or Hell?
If God is so forgiving, and nice,
 then how can He just stand there
  and let unfair things befall me,
   that hurt me,
    and scare me,
     and anger me?
How can He do that?
Why would any loving God do that?
It just doesn't seem right.
Why does He fill this one life i have to live
 with so much sorrow.
Why does He only give us one chance?
What are we to learn from this?
 that He is a heartless, unforgiving
  king who makes things up daily to challenge
   the peasants of his kingdom with trials?
How could someone kind do that?
What right has He to take any life,
 at any moment, for his own purposes
  of saving himself from the Armageddon?
And to save himself from the fiery
 pits of Hell?
Is this one life we are granted
 and indentured to live supposed to be a
Happy Heaven, or a
Dismal Hell?

by Lurking in the Shadows


She can't wait to be older,
 get out of here.
Her parents won't leave her alone,
 she can't stand it much longer.
They won't stay out of her business,
 so she screams 'I hate you!'
That's all she ever says,
 never once thought of anything else.
They're helping her,
 but she doesn't realize it.
She just sits in her room, reading.
Even in the summer, she just sits alone,
 up in her room, reading.
They really want to help her,
 to love her,
  but she won't let them in.
If she could, she'd stay alone forever,
 never come out of her room,
  never go back to school, the real world.
She says she wants to be left alone,
 her parents say no,
  and thats the last straw.
She snaps,
 and she's gone./p>

by Lurking in the Shadows


I don't want to be here,
I can't take it any more..
I wish I could fix it,
But it's beyond fixing.
Sometimes, you have to draw a line.
Sometimes, you have to know when to give up.
You have to know that point
Where there is no turning back.
We've gone past that point,
I don't know if it's even worth it,
Worth the energy to fight,
or better to just give up..
I wish I knew.
I wish it were easy.

by Silenced and Broken



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